on new beginnings
Shortly after I posted a blog about getting fired, Ashlee Vance called me.
I'd read Ashlee's Elon Musk biography in 2022. I was covering the Twitter acquisition and needed to understand Elon's whole deal, so I'd read the PDF on my phone during cardio at the gym. He opens the book with vivid details about having dinner with Elon. I was obsessed with the writing style. It's just a really good fucking book.
I followed his work at Bloomberg religiously. I banged my office desk when he broke the news about who received the first Neuralink implant. I read and re-read his story about using AI to unravel an ancient scroll which eventually revealed a single word: purple.
All of this ran through my mind as I paced around my mom's room talking to him. He was excited about the prospect of collaborating. He asked if I was going to the robot cage match. We were buzzing. Still, I had just been punched in the face by media, so I was hesitant to jump back in so quickly. He was patient, kind, and encouraging.
I spent the next two months rotting (learning to embroider, draw, sew, etc.). I formally applied to exactly two jobs: model behavior at an AI lab and librarian at my local library. That was the scope of my interests.
I got plenty of inbound emails and texts about marketing and communications roles. I weighed this carefully. It would be nice to make much more money for much less (public) work. Stupidly, though, I'm not interested in more money for a job that doesn't set my soul on fire. My apologies to my future child's college fund.
It was a great reset. I had the luxury of having saved enough cash to avoid jumping into the next mediocre job that would further crush my spirit. It's harsh, but seriously—I'd rather starve than suffer full-time again. Anyway! I worked on crafts, read books, journaled, drank with friends. I had time to noodle on what I actually cared about doing. Nothing made my heart thump thump thump like the prospect of joining Core Memory.
I'm grateful for a few things during this period: my high-yield savings account, you guys, my friends and family, Joan Didion, and my gym membership.
I hope to still write personal essays here and there, published on KYLIEBYTES for free. I stupidly tried to port this whole thing over to Substack because the Ghost membership fee is outrageous. It's all kind of a fucking mess. My plan for now: post here first, subscribers here get the email, then port over to Substack without sending an email.
Paying subscriptions are paused! I cherish everyone who floated my Coke Zero budget during this period. I'll figure out a proper way to thank you all individually someday. If you want to watch me have a fucking blast, subscribe to Core Memory.
